Brad & Emily Maternity | Anxiously Waiting for Baby Stew #2 during a Pandemic

I have debated 110 times whether or not to share these images with the world of social media. Even as I type this my heart races through all the emotions that have been present as we near the end of my third trimester preparing for the arrival of baby during a world wide pandemic. I’m scared, sad, mad, and all at the same time feeling guilty.

The guilt is the most overwhelming of the emotions. I feel guilty for being in what is still such a joyful season of life, even with the surrounding world is in a state of such unknown. I feel guilty for being able to still capture sweet memories of my growing family, as I continue to postpone and reschedule client’s sessions. There is guilt from Brad and I being able to spend extra special time with Jackson as the only child, while both still working from home.

With all the guilt bearing down on my heart, it makes me even more aware of all the sorrow others are feeling. I keep telling myself it’s okay to be happy right now. It’s okay to feel the joy, because although there are others going through bigger things, we are about to bring a precious tiny human into this world where they won’t get to meet grandparents right away (and who knows when). We are living in a world where big brother doesn’t get to meet his little sibling at the hospital – this one shatters me from time to time – and in a world where it’s terrifying more than usual if your child even sniffles.

So yes, there is SO much joy in our lives right now, but I am too going through stuff. Feeling sorrowful as well, and that’s okay to admit out loud. Although I know that my short list of heartbreaking reasons why having a baby at this time is nothing compared to what so many are going through and fighting for … IT STILL SUCKS!! You too are probably feeling all the ups and downs, and it IS OKAY to feel them all.

Please reach out and connect to whoever you have to, and know that there is “on the other side” of all of this!!

What doesn’t suck is being these kiddos mama, and this man’s wife. We are all healthy and so is our family. We are going to make the most of this journey that is placed in a different setting than we expected, and we will not take for granted for one second the moment we get to hug our loved ones again. We will embrace this time at home to slow down and appreciate what we do have and look forward to getting back to normal days, whatever that may look like.